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Writer's pictureAshley Allen

Happiness Is Your Choice

Even the happiest individuals experience bad days, but it’s how you react to negative situations that determines your level of happiness. If you’re continually seeking out happiness or waiting for the perfect moment to be happy, you’re never going to find it. Happiness isn't to be sought, it's already in you. Happiness is your choice.


When it comes to being happy, some of us tend to get in our own way. If you’re waiting for an accomplishment or timing to be perfect, you may find that happiness never comes. Don’t let this happen. There are plenty of things in your life right now to celebrate and be happy about.



I'll Be Happy When...


Happiness doesn’t wait. If you’re stuck in the mindset that you’ll ‘be happy when ____’, then you’re risking postponing your happiness indefinitely. This way of thinking is a form of self-sabotage. When it comes to happiness, timing doesn’t matter. The time for happiness is NOW. Are you guilty of postponing your happiness?


I know I can be guilty of this. I'll be happy when my book is published. I'll be happy when my business takes off. Or I'll be happy when I officially start working with clients on their brain health.


This thinking becomes a never-ending cycle. It keeps you stuck with no way to move forward.



Enjoy the journey, enjoy the small things, and look for the happiness that is all around you. Think about the hard work you put in to get you to that book being published. You found an editor, right? You made a new connection!


Your business hasn't grown yet. But look how passionate you get when you talk about it. Don't give up something that lights you up.


Find the happiness NOW in the small things, in the journey. Don't wait until that big accomplishment. There is joy in the journey. You just have to look for it.


You Can Control Your Thoughts


Our thoughts form our emotions, not the other way around. It’s a common misconception that we can’t control our thoughts, but this is simply untrue. Negative thoughts seem automatic because they’ve become ingrained in our thought process, and that voice in our mind can be very harsh.


You probably say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to others or even allow someone else to say to a loved one. So why do you accept these thoughts as truth? Probably because no one ever told you to question these thoughts.


That’s exactly what I want you to do. Throughout the day, try to notice when you have a negative thought, acknowledge it, then question it. Ask yourself why you might be thinking this way, or simply remind yourself that your negative thoughts are not true.



This will become easier over time. The more you have to justify the negative thoughts, the sooner you’ll realize how easy it is to brush them off.


Comparison Is Harmful


Whether we realize it or not, we’re constantly faced with situations where we may be tempted to compare ourselves to others. This can never turn out well. When scrolling through social media, for example, we’re viewing an edited reality.


We’re not seeing a clear picture of someone’s life, more like the highlight reel. If you feel the need to make a comparison, compare your today-self to your yesterday self. Is there anything you can do to improve your current self?


Are you guilty of making unfair comparisons?



This is a dangerous one so be on the lookout for it. There are so many ways that we can compare ourselves to others. Through social media, TV shows, movies, just being around our own family and friends.


You may find yourself thinking, "Man I wish I looked like her." Or "I wish I had that kind of job." And "I wish I could go on that kind of vacation." Wish, wish, wish.


This can turn bad quickly. Instead of saying "I wish" say "What will I do today that will get me closer to who I want to be in the future?" Or "what will get me closer to the life I want to live, the life I have envisioned?"


Comparing will only keep you stuck. It will not help you move forward to the life you want to live.


So, is your mind filled with positive thoughts, or are you on a loop of negativity? Folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be. -Abraham Lincoln

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